Evacuating One Citizen at a Time

Okay, citizens. It's now official. The planet is Doomed. There's nothing we can do about it but kiss this rock good-bye, and get the heck outta here.

We at The Doomed Planet want to assure you that there is no need to be worried. Help is here. We have been distinguished with the honor of evacuating every single person on this planet. So sit back and relax, and wait to be saved. However, don't stop paying your bills, as we may be a while.

In the meantime, please try to remain calm.

Contributors

Trevor Ryan
Trevor Ryan hails from the green pastures of Ithaca, NY. He even went to film school at Ithaca College. From there, he promptly moved to Los Angeles to avoid the bitter winters in exchange for the bitter actors that roam freely here.

Trevor currently resides in Beverly Hills, which must make him feel pretty damned special.

David Guy Levy
David isn't who you think he is. Just because you read this biography doesn't mean that you will ever get to know the real me. I hate it when people think they can get an understanding of who I am from a website description. How loose is your grip on reality? Go outside and see the real world. Just take your laptop with you. And keep visiting this website. I love you.

Thora Birch
Thora's early adulthood confounds us all considering it is quite difficult to understand how she managed to achieve so much, yet lay’s claim to accomplishing nothing at all.  Since her late teens, she has plotted the deaths of loved ones, lived on the streets, was nominated for a Golden Globe, presented at the Oscars, attended Harvard College,  completed 2 years of English public school training for royalty and sociopaths, waged a war of Dragons, became a vegetarian and has managed to annoy everyone she has come in contact with in record time.  We can’t wait to see what she’ll pull off next.  Oh;  her hobbies include seducing nerds, alienating friends, suffering from nightmares, and long romantic train rides through Eastern Europe.

Kian Bolt Birch
Kian was born in Chad in 1963 just after the murder of JFK, but before the execution of the other beloved FK.  After graduating elementary school in Cairo (he moved a lot) he became obsessed with the historical documents by Gen. Spielberg on the celebrated Dr. Indiana Jones and wanted to become, not an archaeologist, but a treasure hunter.  Not knowing where to start or what to do, he gave up his dream to pursue his fallback; politics.  Becoming a U.N representative for Liberia at the age of 15, he used his power and influence to sleep with and impregnate many African and other international beauties, sometimes strangling the snotty ones.

Jun 9, 2008
DGL in online video
David act's in a video for some non-doomed friends!
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Apr 17, 2008
Back in production
We actually rolled camera!
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Jun 2, 2007
Online Nation!
Hey, we're going to be on the CW!
View Article

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